Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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