He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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