wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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