I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
