Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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