she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
