His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
