He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
