you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
