btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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