This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
