You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize