do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
