So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
