areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
