Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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