idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
