as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
