Yo dont text me then not text me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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