just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
