My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Banned from zoo.
Again?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize