we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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