he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
