they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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