I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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