Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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