I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
