So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
