So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
