Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
