I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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