Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
