Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
