There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
