Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
