I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want her autograph on my taint
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
