I skipped work to stalk him.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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