Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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