That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
