I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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