just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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