people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish i was in the wii world.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
