Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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