i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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