What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
