So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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