Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
