I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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