Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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