Slut skills are useful in every country.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
