dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize