i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You were trust falling into bushes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
