the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
