I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
