I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
