i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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