my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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