I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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