I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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