I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
