dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Randomize
