my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
