i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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