I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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