he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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