don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize