the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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