god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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